Real me sucks

Today i am not feeling good. A sudden cloud of gloominess has surrounded me. It is because i have accidently found out the real me.I am not the considerate person that i thought i was. I thought i wasn't selfish, i thought..............pchh
It is really sad when u find out that u r not the person u thought u were all these days.

Today i went out to buy a 5 lt 'water can' and i had exactly 45 Rs which is the exact price of it. On the way to market i saw an old man begging and he really looked pathetic. At once i felt sorry for him but did nothing ,i just passed past him .Although i was not in a position to offer him a permanent help , i could have certainly helped him temporarily by giving some money i had. I cud have easily done that. But i didn't.Why?. My preference was more to the mineral water that i wanted so that i wudn't suffer from sorethroat or some kind of minor problem. Why didn't i think from the other person's position where getting something(hygenic or not ,doesn't matter) to eat is of utmost importance. There was no hard and fast rule that i had to take 5 lt, i cud have given him some money and settle for 1 lt or 500 ml.Or i cud have given him enough money,go back to my room get 45 Rs and buy my 5 lt. But i did none of the above . It is another story that i felt guilty abt it,and the shopkeeper had no 5 lt cans with him ,so on my way back i gave the old man some money.The good thing was that ,atleast i didnot think of how much i shud give him- 5,10,15 or 20 .Nothing. I just put my hands into my pocket and gave him whatever came out.

Anyway the point is that why didn't i help him in the first place. We have many good ideas within us. we feel like helping the poor. we talk about giving love to the unpriviledged.We feel emotional when we see some movies and decide to help,do something to the society etc,etc....... But are we ready to do what we intended to do when faced with reality?
I am sorry if i am generalizing this but this is what i found out in me today,and many around me in general. We give importance to little things which are absolutely unneccesary and ignore our duties towards the society.....

We complain about education system,We complain abt political system,this and that, we complain complain complain. We sometimes even say "enough of complaining,lets do something to the country on our own,lets make a difference,blah blah blah...." and sure enough some of ideas are really good but when it comes to implementation--- how many of us really do?


Atleast i thought i wud but .......I am sorry ,i am not what i thought i am.......... Hope atleast u are what u think u are.

ps: i am sorry if u find this post meaningless ,it is just that i am thinking many things at the same time and also i am confused abt who i really am.

Strange Phenomenon

Hi
I am back after a long gap.As I am writing this I am still thinking why haven't I blogged for such a long time.The answer as I think is a strange phenomenon which I discovered long back but confirmed recently.I still haven't given it a name(suggestions are welcomed)

We all love games,right.Be it indoor or outdoor or computer games.But why is that the urge to play them rises more and more only during examination time .I play them even on normal days,but I play a lot during exams.If u observe all my previous blogs were written within a span of 1 week and that week happens to be my examination week(Mid-Term Exams).The last day of our exams was March 3(which is also the last day I blogged here). After that I rarely felt like blogging.I stopped playing those games which I played so extensively during that week.I even get the best dreams/sleeps only during examination time.i do/try new things during this time as if there was no time later. When I first started observing this,I thought I had some serious problem, but lately I realised that many of my frds too experience a similar feeling.

We gave a serious thought as to why this happens.The only logical conclusion we cud come to was that "during exams we stress ourselves a lot and the mind(esp MY mind) which is accustomed to relaxing tries to remain in the same state( Newtons Law of Inertia..eh?)and hence we play/sleep/dream/indulge in new acivities more during the examination period".

hmmm....I have 3 projects to submit and i am happily blogging(hey this confirms my phenomenon again).

He he he...Me and my Lazy Brain,we never change.........

Licence to Kill!!!!!!!

What?Is it true?
Absolutely
Where?
In my college.
What?
yes its true.
Cost?
Nothing.Just ur Ass.
What?
Yep.
Who issues it?
The person who issues it ,actually gets screwd.Funny as it may sound ,but its true.
Are u refering to....

Yes my friend u got that right.I am refering to the three b's(barbaric birthday bashes)
The day u announce that ur b'day is on so and so date U r literally fixing ur date with YAMA. The other day i saw my frd getting one hell of a beating and the only mistake he did was to make his b'day date public.In just a matter of few minutes his 'Happy' birthday was turned into Pain.

Come On guys.Is this the way we greet our frds on their b'day.In our school days we were like eagerly waiting for our b'days. We were waiting for all those calls at 12,receiving all those warm smiles and wishes.We enjoyed the fact that we were given priority/special treatment that day.Friends and Family try to make u feel Special. U somehow felt good about being born on that day.U want everyone to know that its ur b'day today.But here...... U wish no one knows that its ur b'day today.u hide from ur frds.Ur own frds are now ur yamadhuths.

When asked why do people involve in such barbaric acts--- I got a list of wierd answers.
"We only intend to have some fun"
How can u have fun when u see the guy growling in pain(and almost crying with pain) unless u r some kind of a jerk who derives sadistic pleasure on hearing others mourn and cry with pain.
"We just want to make his day memorable"
Oh yeah.tell me something that i don't know.He is for sure going to remember it forever but is it the way it should be?Think people.
"Hey even i don't like to kick people.But that was till yesterday.I was in his shoes yesterday.I just want to return the Favour"
Its just like when we were juniors in our b.tech we hated ragging.But once we became seniors we thought --we were not spared by our seniors then why shud we spare our juniors.

It has become recursive or rather a cycle.U kick someone,he kicks someone (so that the other person also goes thru the same agony that he went) and that someone will kick someone else and this goes on.some day u r on the HitList.The amount of pain u induce into the system increases with every recursive step.

Sometimes these bashes become so wild that i really fear that something might go wrong someday.The poor guy is kicked with out any mercy and often few blows are off target and hit the guy in the spine and sometimes in some sensitive areas.It is really dangerous at times.The 'bakra' as he is called is thrown into the pond which has a rocky bed causing a lot of pain to the 'bakra' when he falls in some awkward position.Who is responsible if he breaks a bone or worse if a damage occurs to the spine.

Having fun is different.It shud be fun to both the parties involved.And the worst part is that when i ask people to stop they ask me----" when is ur b'day ?".

I have even seen people trying to settle there differences in such bashes.When ever some one has some issue with someone he asks his frd "Aee bidu ,patha kar iska b'day kab hein".

Isn't this going too far.
Plzz stop involving in such acts and if possible try to make the guy feel happy or special not a 'Bakra' ...

Real Help to the Poor

Today our sr has sent us a mail regarding donation of Rs.200 each for the poor.We had done some similar activity earlier too. Although i am not against donating money but i wonder whether we are really helping them.More than just donating money ,if only we cud show/give them a living then they wud be more happy.
There is a short story which i came across in Tinkle when i was in........
Ok anyway.The story goes somewhat like this ..
Once upon a time in a small village there lived 3 brothers. All were into fishing and were doing good in the business.One day a poor man was begging and he came to the eldest brother's house.On seeing the poor man's condition ,he felt sorry for him and gave him food and some fish.The poor man thanked him and went away.The next day he returned but now knocked the second brother's door.The second brother did the same as the elder brother.The poor man once again thanked him and went away only to return the next day.This time it was the youngest brothers turn.He saw the poor man ,felt sorry for him,thought for a while,went into his room ,brought a fishing net,took the poor man to the river and taught him how to fish and then gave away the fishing net to him. The Poor man was first confused but later realized what the young fellow was upto. He took the net , went away and never returned.
there is still some extension to the story where the poor man returns back after few yrs only this time he is very rich.He says its all due to the favour done by the youngest brother blah blah blah...
Anyway the point is that by donating food,money etc u only feed him for a day or two.But if u cud do something like the young brother in the story then u will feed him for the rest of his life and also give him a chance to live a life of dignity.Why don't we do something that wud change there lives forever.

Given that we are ready to do something for them Now the point is what is that we can do.An individual like u and me cannot do anything(mostly true.exceptions exist...).What we can do is may be take up a small area in our locality,set up some kind of workshop and teach different skills to the poor people and then give them the necessary things/tools they need to start a new life.Also we can make some of them active partners in the maintenance of the workshop.
And there are many similar things that we can do rather that just entertaining them for a day or two.
Where there is will there sure is a way.
(i hope i don't become selfish and selfcentered when i start earning money.Hope i remain the same and cud be of some use to the society)

"Organised". Am I or am i not?

Organised! and me ? Hell no.I don't think i was ever organised and i don't even remember being in trouble for not being organised.So why bother.Why become a machine and behave as if u were programmed. But People around me keep giving me lecturers of how to be organised ,adv of being organised blah,blah blah....
So I thought "Ok What the heck ,let me give it a try". I thought it wud be very difficult and i wudn't like it for sure.But guess what ? I actually liked it and it was not as difficult as i initially thought it wud be.I did everything according to a schedule,slept and woke up at specific times,ate properly,studied according to the schedule,had my clothes pressed,Kept my table neat,same with my Bed. Arranged my books,clothes etc in order.Everything was perfect and for once my room looked like it was my sister's room(she is really cool at this).I was so impressed with the way i maintained my room that i took pictures of it in different angles and send it to my parents.Guess what my parents said? " Beta whose room did u photogragh?"
Aaa...... I then patiently explained that it was mine and guess what they said now?. "Good work beta but how long is it going to last" I was really mad now. I said it wud be for ever and hung up.I cudn't believe this. i have worked so hard to change and this is what i get in return.I have decided then and there that no matter what may happen i am going to remain Organised.
..
...
....
.....
....But alas,
My parents were right.After the hungama that i did ,i fell back to my old ways of living.Why did i do that?Well, may be i was trying to be what i am not, or i lacked the discipline to continue the right way.I have realised one thing from this experience though .
---> It is not easy to be Organised
---> I didn't actually understand what "Organised" ment.
---> Discipline is the Key if u want to do anything.

Will i learn from this experience?
I don't know.
Will i ever change?
I don't know.
Ok.Do i want to change?
I don't know.
Aaaaagh.... To hell with me.............

Finallyy.....

At last i have a blog of my own.
I always wondered why would anyone need something as weird as this, to express their ideas.
Well i am beginning to realize that this is one such place where u can express urself on any matter(what so ever) with out thinking abt how others wud react.
This is just like having a personal diary, only that its more fun.
But knowing the person that i am ,i reaaally wonder whether i wud blog for a long time to come or may be this is just a temporary josh.
What ever may be the case .....I think iam gonna have some fun.